ElementalMom

I received a lovely pep-talk from Christine. We have history — she hired me to do DTP contracting at Borland, years ago. She also hired Jenny, who left Borland, hired me at Sun, then hired Christine as a contractor, and now Jenny and I are gone from Sun, and Christine is doing ubergiggery there.

Over the years, whenever I had serious questions about the big picture of working in tech, I brought them to Christine, who never failed to be a fount of knowledge. Here’s the latest tidbit:

If you can, first take a couple of week of “vacation,” where you truly just debrief and don’t even try to think of why’s and plans. Just breathe. Then, and only then, think about what you loved about working at Sun and go after THAT. I stopped trying to understand why I was laid off, versus X, Y, or Z, after the third time. It will seem dark now, but there will always be something different and better in a different way, ok? Trust your own wonderful self! The good things that you brought with you to Sun that made the good parts of your job are still in YOU, and you can unleash them in your next venture.
Kiss the babies and your hubby, and trust the universe. Love, Christine

What I love about this was the X, Y, or Z part. Not only are the commas correct, even in a quick, personal note, but the idea that The Mighty Christine could ever have been laid off was tremendous. If someone in HR could have willingly let such a fount of wisdom, perspective, insight, and vicious wicked humor go, then clearly sometimes it’s just about the randomness of friendly fire. And that, while not reassuring for the economy, is personally gratifying.

This morning, my galley is spotless.

An old roommate of mine once mentioned that if she could control no other thing in her world, she could keep her kitchen clean. The chaos level in her personal relationships was high, but her kitchen was always gorgeous. And so today, my galley is spotless. Today, Sun, where I’ve worked for eight years and three months, is laying off 6,000 people, me amongst them.

Dishes, washed.

Thankfully, there were enough whispers on the wind that I think it won’t come as a surprise to most of us. I think most folks have some sort of backup plan, or else they’re going to be smacked hard with the Wet Fish of Denial. Although it’s going to be a bear, financially, I am deeply looking forward to some dedicated mommy time… some time where I am not telling my children “Mommy has a meeting” when they ask me to read to them or play with them. I’m looking forward to focusing in, getting work done on our boat, and putting energy here instead of there.

Stove, scrubbed.

I‘m basically just leaving my LinkedIn profile up all day today. Requests keep coming in, and going out. I don’t want to lose touch with any of these people I’ve worked with, or miss any opportunities for further wage earning. And judging from the speed with which messages are being traded, they feel the same. It’s one of those Joni Mitchell moments, where everyone feels better for having contact, no matter the circumstances.

Counter, wiped down and bleached.

I have been thinking that it was time to do something else with my life for a while now, but my day job was really not bad as they go. Good pay, good benefits, excellent teammates. The rest of the company was sheer madness, and I’m quite sure the drama above my head was unbelievable. But within my team, life was good. So I probably would have stayed forever. It’s like I was a cat at the door, indecisive, and this is the Big Push Through.

Appliances, wiped down.

It would be harder on me were I alone in this. I’m not. 5,999 of my Sun friends and coworkers are being cut today; good, intelligent, talented folks. Friends got cut from O’Reilly and McGraw-Hill last week, and I hear that Microsoft and IBM are cutting people today too. So it’s not like this is a reflection on me. It’s a reflection, and frankly, a condemnation, of the entire system. Endless growth is not possible without violent course-correction. And what makes me laugh is that these cuts are for the benefit of the stockholders; but we’re the stockholders, because I don’t know a single person being laid off who doesn’t have some Sun stock. I have this great fantasy of us all showing up to a board meeting and telling “them” what we really think.

Tea kettle, polished, filled, and centered on the burner.

As I look behind me, at my lovely galley, I realize that really, I’m as well-prepared for whatever comes next as I can possibly be. I don’t exactly know what’s coming next, but I know that Louis Pasteur was right, that “In the fields of observation chance favors only the prepared mind.” I’ve done as much as I can do, and now, as ever, it’s time to sit back and let the adventure unfold.