I know that BlogHer and Technorati and lots of other places have lots of criteria by which they rate blogs. I know that a gazillion and a half people have opinions about the best parenting and family blogs.
Me? I think that Well, Yeah is the best. Period. Hands down, far and away, the best family blog ever.
Valarie has ten kids. And they are some of the most well-adjusted, decent people you’d ever want to meet. And so are their spouses, their friends, their relationships. I have gotten pretty much all the best parenting advice ever from Valarie. I figure, if she can manage what she has, I want to emulate her.
The thing that finally pushed me over the edge into jumping up and shouting “Valarie is the best freaking parent EVER!!” was a recent blog of hers, where she talks about her teenage children’s teenage friends as “Little Jay brought Sumi and Larry along, and Maria had Heather, and they are all pleasant people, agreeable, nice kids. It was very peaceful.” In an older post, she refers to her son’s prom date as “Her dress is so beautiful. I do really like this kid. She is so funny and kind.”
OK, back the truck up. Precisely how often do you hear a mother of teenagers talk about her kids’ friends that way? And check out this quote on her daughters-in-law: “They are kind, funny, generous, astute… I didn’t realize until some of my kids were grown how central kindness is to every single thing, but it is.”
And really, I think that it’s Valarie’s persistence about how fundamentally decent everyone is that helps keep everyone rising to meet her expectations. You don’t often run into people who are doing as much as she is, who don’t complain, who in fact revel, in the craziness that is a big family. Usually there’s some martyrdom and drama involved, some sense that the madness outweighs the solid comfort. But for her, what matters is how everyone is connected. I blogged about her advice to me on that front here.
Valarie is the person who gave me the best comeback line ever, for when people ask me about why I have so many kids (yes, here in California, three is a lot of kids). I say what Valarie says,”Well… we like them.” Stops people in their tracks; they aren’t used to hearing that. We are supposed to be confrontational with, and annoyed by, our kids. The idea that we enjoy them is downright revolutionary and radical. I love it.
I also am routinely inspired by how she discusses her marriage. I can’t possibly recreate the beauty of the original post here, so I’m gonna make you go read it yourself. In fact, I’ve not linked to the other quoted posts on purpose, so you’ll have to go read her blog for yourself.
I tell Val how inspirational she’s been to me, and she laughs. I tell her what a gem she is, and she just kind of shrugs. But every week, she puts out this blog that just radiates warmth and compassion and love and humor, and I bask in it. And you should too. Go click over and check it out.
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Awww Laureen, I’m so touched. What a huge compliment this is. I’m lucky to call you my friend. love you, V
Oooooo, thank you for the links! I love the “we like them” line. I always get sick in my stomach when I hear people moan about kids being home from school over summer and cheer when they go back in the fall. “HOW can you homeschool?!” they ask. Well, I like being with my kid. Weird eh?