Obviously I don’t think your stepfather needs Jesus, but I don’t think he needs God either. I hope he can make some peace with dying and that he can approach it, if not with no fear, then at least as something he can handle. Whether with religion or not, or with belief in an afterlife or not, doesn’t matter.

Unfortunately, his state of mind now is so awful that he may never be able to do this. If that turns out to be the case, hopefully he is lost enough to forget his fears and give himself over to whatever will come.

Hell is mentioned three times in my Bible concordance( which is just a small concordance) in the old testament. One verse in Isaiah refers to hell enlarging itself. Please Laureen dont you have one person that knows Christ that could offer your Bear hope?

I will pray that the Lord sends someone, or Himself to appear in a vision that brings Peace. I wish I was closer but I am in NJ . I would hold his hand and sing to him and pray over him. I found the savior in the book of John. You could read him that. I am praying for you at this difficult time.

All I can (continue to) offer are my thoughts, prayers and hugs from all the way over here.

FWIW, re “I’m trying hard not to feel like I’m somehow evil for not letting myself slide into being wrought.” There’s nothing evil about protecting yourself and your family, and staying as strong as you feel able. If you *can* keep going, you may find yourself being relied on. You may find that’s what you’re meant to do this time. I only worry that, by *not* letting yourself “slide”, you might be putting too much pressure on yourself (hmmm, getting a flashback to you saying something similar to me!), but you’re certainly not being “evil”. I think you already know that, but I just wanted to make sure.

IME, it’s *after*, when things aren’t critical and when you have room to breathe, *that’s* when I’ve found it’s harder to keep that strength. While you *have to*, you do. Ironically, most people on the “outside” don’t understand that: they expect you to collapse while you’re in it, and then they all go away when the fuss is over – and that’s when you need them to stay.

Hmmm, for not knowing what to say, I’ve certainly rambled on. Sorry ’bout that. I’m holding you all in my thoughts, and hoping like crazy that you all can find the peace you need.

Hugs hugs hugs…

huge hugs to you. You know you’re constantly in my thoughts right now.

Life is a challenge, as is facing death…

“Tired of living, afraid to die”…Rolling Stones

I wish you and Bear the best.

My youngest brother is also in a nursing home, can not walk, can barely see, 3 times a week on the blood machine…

All we can do is enjoy the good times, to have strength for the bad.

_/|\_

So strange, in hindsight, to think of all the years he was sick and all the times we, his family, tried to hold him back–begging him to slow down, to take better care of himself. When he finally took us seriously, took the threat of death seriously, he became a miserable shell of a person. He didn’t slow down, he simply stopped, so deer-struck by the face of death. I wish he had died in the midst of living instead of the horrible death he suffered from dying.

Throughout my dad’s life he had been an agnostic who was never brave enough to become the athiest he wished to be. I’m not an atheist–quite the quiet Jesus believer I am– but toward the end of my dad’s life I wished he would become an antheist just for the peace it might bring him.

Was that too confusing to understand? My dad died 7 years ago and I think that I have just begun, this year, to see through the fog of his dying. So I get you dude, I do, but have no words to help you.

Hugs to you and long distance understanding. And like you I have no earthly idea how our mothers cope. But then I think that is an ageless refrain.