I‘m due to have this baby any time now.
It’s obvious if you know me and know my dates. I’ve been telling people “I’m having a Gemini”, so that’s a clear clue. And of course, I’m huge, so that’s a dead giveaway.
If even one more person asks me “haven’t you had that baby yet?” I’m gonna stick ‘em in the eye with a fork. Cause clearly, they aren’t actually using their eyes for, y’know, observation or anything. And that’s just the people I see in person. The oh-so-subtle “oh, I was just thinking of you and thought I’d call…” phone calls aren’t much better. I’ve put myself on self-imposed phone rest (like bed rest, but better), and made Jason answer the dratted thing.
I was pondering, this morning, as I awoke having yet again not gone into labor in the night, what it is that makes people get in such a hurry at the end of a pregnancy. It’s like at 36-37 weeks, the baby has to stay in, then at 38-39, everyone starts freaking out and being impatient. “Is it there yet? Is it there yet? Have you had it yet?” It sounds like little kids at Christmas. Or at the end of a road trip. Or… and it struck me… like people who are excited about an event, but have no actual work to perform to ensure said event comes off.
Think about it. Adults who are responsible for filling the gas tank, doing the auto maintenance, doing the trip planning, doing the driving, parceling out the snacks… they never ask “are we there yet?”… they just stare out the windows. Adults who are fully engaged with the holiday madness of shopping, party-having, cooking, planning, etc, always are startled by how fast the calendar moves, and wish for an additional week or two.
So here’s my solution. People who ask me if I’ve had that baby yet? Clearly, they haven’t enough to do. The next person who asks me that question gets invited to bring a casserole, do a load of dishes or laundry, handle the grocery shopping, or rub my feet (since helping actually gestate this little punkin is physiologically impossible). I figure if I start involving the rushers in the process, they’ll realize there’s so much going on, that clearly, they need to either pitch in fully, or maybe plan themselves a road trip.
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I feel for ya. This is why I took to lying about when the child was due, padding my longest guess by another 3 weeks. It gets old for us as the mom, staring at that belly and wondering… and then having others stare it down too, oy. One of these days though… the baby’s bound to come out. Eventually. Sending hugs, V
That is the best idea ever. I wish I had thought of it when it counted. I’ll pass it along to my sister who’s due in July. May the last bit of your pregnancy be blessed with the absence of idiots.
I love it! I love it! I love it!!! Absolutely!
no rush, just lots of good wishes and calm vibes – for now & later, whenever…
Remember it well. I felt insulted by all the questions–like somehow I should be able to make it all happen faster. Thanks for reminding me though–on my afternoon walk today I met up with a pregnant neigbor whom I haven’t seen for a few months. She is actually due this month. Thinking of this post, I didn’t ask her due date even though it was on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I told her how wonderful she looks (which she did–why does pregnancy always seem to be “greener” on the other mom–I could swear I never looked that good) and asked if she needed anything. And then I listened while she told me how hard the last month is. Which it can be. Best, best wishes to you and your family. Your blog continues to teach and inspire me.
This is a fantastic idea and OH, how I wish I had thought of it during my three pregnancies! Or really, just the second two as the first was all beauty and light.
My third pregnancy went 41 weeks. It was a home delivery and was the birth I had wanted to give twice before (I started out with a C-section, then moved on to an induction). The difference in just letting things happen on their own time was amazing. But I do remember thinking I was truly going to be pregnant FOREVER!
I have a friend who is due in August. She had a t-shirt made that says just that…”Due In August”. It works wonders with the folks who can read.
I’ll be sending you lots of good thoughts for foot rubs and back rubs and long relaxing breaths! You’ll be holding that new babe in NO TIME (easy for me to say, right?)!
MoxyJane in Austin, TX
Time is such a funny thing, as you said. It seems to be flying by for me, and dragging for you. Not having the huge belly, and all the discomforts, it’s easy for me to bask in the excitement of your little one’s imminent arrival. I’m soo excited! No help for you, I know. Just know that I am pulling for you, am always here if you want to vent, and I won’t ask you if you’ve had the baby yet (the answer to that becomes quite obvious within a couple of seconds
Hugs my friend,
Christie
I love this post! Good for you–going on phone rest. I’m very excited about the soon-to-be arrival of your wee one, but I know how frustrating it is to have continual phone calls, emails, and drop-ins asking how you’re doing or if you somehow feel “different” today.
And if you’ll remember, I had the in-laws driving across the country to come stay with us the week of my due date–just sure it would have happened by then. OY!
So…I’m assuming that my earlier comments about boycotting your non-labor by lighting your labor candle (in protest) is okay AS LONG AS I don’t *ask* you about it?
LOL
Many hugs & kisses to you in this time of waiting! (Don’t forget to take a few big belly shots in this final stage).
~Shaye
Hello Laureen,
Wow time flies. I am too busy to keep track of gestating mamas
but I’m now sending you some lovely labour vibes. I know you’ll make an awesome family of five!
Love, K
I love this little bit of insight! And I’m always fond of analogies
And that one was great!
It reminds me of the time I was thinking about how people feel compelled to touch a pregnant belly, and I decided that it really seems to start once the belly has passed the breasts in distance from the body (as in profile); i.e. it’s like there’s an unwritten rule that the breasts are the boundary of the personal space (they’re not supposed to touch *those*, LOL) but once anything gets past *them*, it’s public property… I’m sure there are many people who will say that it didn’t work that way for them, but anyway…
And even if that’s not how it works, I like my logic, LOL.
But yeah, I always feel nervous asking a pregnant woman “how are you going?” because what *I* really mean is “how are you?” and what *you* usually hear is “are we there yet?” – so please just know I’m keeping you in my thoughts and trying really really hard to just let you GIP.
I do feel your pain. Didn’t realize you were pregnant (and approx. as far along as me -39 weeks here), but I haven’t been reading here long. I don’t have to be on phone rest YET, but I feel it coming. I have a feeling that after this weekend passes, I will be getting curious phone calls. Like I wouldn’t tell you if a CHILD passed out of my body! Yeesh.
This is my first. I feel like a time bomb. And people act like I’m one.
Hey, Laureen, have you had that baby yet? VBG!
Darlin’, if we lived near you, I’d happily bring you a dinner… or rebuild a saildrive for y’all… or something. We’re thinking about ya.
Frank and the krewe