Mar 27 2008
Triumph
My friend S gave birth today. Her little boy came into this world surrounded by family, touched first by people who love him, quietly, smoothly, beautifully. The details of the story are hers to tell, and hopefully I’ll be honored enough to link to them sometime soon.
Four months ago, S believed she could not have this kind of birth. She’d had two cesareans. She lived in a state where midwifery is illegal. Her best option was to resign herself to planning the best cesarean possible.
But S is strong. And she asked questions. A lot of questions. And in three short months, pulled together a birth plan that involved things like respect, and privacy, and having her two other children present. It also involved driving across entire states, and finding midwives who viewed two prior cesareans as a failure of the system, not a failure of S’s body. And it involved S and her husband having the faith, and the strength, and the endurance, and the foresight, to question an entire paradigm that was pushing on them harder than it pushes on most people, throwing up barriers that stop most people from getting the birth they want.
So when I tell you that her birth was completely without incident, that it all went off without a hitch, and that today, S is not a recovering surgical patient, she’s a woman who claimed her power and changed everything by sheer determination, those of you who daily see what the birth machine does to women in this country will understand why I got off the phone with her, and cheered and danced around and cried a little and did it all again some more. Such a small thing, such a simple birth, such a miracle that it ever got the chance to happen like it did.
So here’s to S, her husband, and their family. Yours is the story that tells me there’s hope of being able to topple the birth machine. You had your normal, quiet birth against insane odds, despite stupid laws, around ridiculous constraints. But you did it. And nothing will ever stop you ever again.
UPDATE: Shaye’s birth story is now live, here.
SOOO glad for you, dear unknown S - congratulations for being strong, calm, and becoming a mom this way!!!
Joining Laureen in the happy dance and emotional cocktail,
fellow VBACer FR (HWBAC)
Yay! Congratulations to S and family, and welcome Baby Boy - I was almost in (happy) tears reading this post here today. That is such wonderful news!
Hurrah!! and Good Luck to S and Family.
As the mama of “S” — I am so proud of and for her. I cannot wait to hold this new little bundle of love from Above.
As a personal friend of “S” I am elated to get this news. I have been waiting anxiously to hear from S today she sent this link with a note that the full birth story was to come soon. I can hardly wait to soak up every word. S is amazing. I only knew her a short time before moving to another state (one that she crossed to have her natural birth) - but since moving we have become “email pals”. She amazes me - i hope you all get a chance to read the birth story soon! She has something to teach us all!
God Bless S and Family!!
As “S’s” HypnoBirthing teacher, I agree with “S’s” friend Shauna. “S” does have something to teach us all! That is courage, hope, and confidence for what you believe. “S” trusted in her body and her own instincts to have her baby through a calm relaxed natural birth. Other important kudos go out to her husband and her midwife who supported her all the way and also believed in her body and it’s ability to be so resilient and marvalous. Knowing that this miracle of birth is a natural process rather than a medical event!! Thank you to all who helped “S” and her family to have the confidence to bring this babe into the world without trauma or suffering.
Hooray for you, S! In spite of 2 - C’c and a miscarriage and in spite of some of our fears for you, you and L and God pulled it off. You are our only grandaughter; Nana would be (and is, I am sure) beaming with love and pride. Are you going to name him after ME? Love You and your’s. D
Amen to claiming your victory S. What an awesome opportunity to be so blessed as to bear witness to this victory. I am humbled by this woman and her ability to move through this “WITHOUT FEAR”, because that is what it takes. S. chose to listen to “the voice of truth” and not those who tell us “it can’t be done”. The amount of love (must be that oxytocin cocktail) in that room was truely beyond measure, amazing and I am grateful to have been the one who got to share in this precious baby’s entry into this world.
His midwife,
Jeanne
SO glad to get your wonderful news today, “S”!! You’ve been in my prayers…and you will continue to be. Wow…your story is overwhelming. xo
What a wonderful teaser to what I’m sure will be an amazing story, I can’t wait to hear the rest! Congratulations S!
Congratulations!!!!! I feel a sisterhood with S that’s hard to describe. As I’ve discussed with other VBAmC moms, there’s something about the victory of VBAC after multiple cesareans that brings strangers together.
I think you’ve also inspired me to do a blogpost on midwives. I just finished reading “Pushed”, which was excellent, and it has really reaffirmed for me how important supportive care providers are in the birthing lives of women as well as the need to protect them.
My midwives always correct me when I give them credit for my son’s birth. I correct them back. We were all a team, and it never would have happened w/o any one of us (myself, Ryan, S and J and my husband Andy).
Thanks for the great news!!!!
Christie
What a powerful testament to S’s strength, faith, perseverance, courage and love for her children. Like you Laureen, I did the happy dance immediately after hearing S’s news, as I do each time I hear of a woman who believed the truth and toppled the “birth machine,” and out of my own personal bias, I do an extra encore of it when its a HBAmC mama, like me. You’re an amazing woman, S! Congratulations!!!!!!!!
What absolute joy! And amazement at the medical mysteries that surrounded number one and two–we were there and saw the pain and the agony that S & L (and the greats and grands) went through.
God is good. His strength is flowing in every breath of numbers 1, 2 & 3. I’m so glad you get to enjoy #3 a bit earlier and without agony or surgery…
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Mimi. Joy and peace!
“S’s” strength and determination has been something I have always admired and I am so proud of her once again. Can’t wait to hear the full birth story after recieving email after email of battling with hospitals and doctors for 9 months trying to make this amazing story a reality! Congratulations, my beautiful friend!
[...] while back, before I had her permission to post, I wrote “Triumph” about Shaye’s birth. On Brighton’s one-month birthday, she’s now published [...]