I’m not trying to be obnoxious, I truly do wonder how it is.

At any rate, as usual, an excellent, thought-provoking post. ITA about not listening to anyone who’s never experienced it though. That’s a huge pet-peeve of mine–men in Obstetrics.

Christie

Molly

I’ve also trained for a marathon (only competed in a 5k though, as it turns out.) Having trained for it, helped me “train” for my birth.

Birthing my two girls hurt like hell. It was pain like no other, and it felt like I was being ripped in two, as most of you can probably relate to. I can see why someone who wasn’t ready for it would fight it, hate it, want it gone. And in a way, I wanted it gone too. But I knew that the best way to make it go away, was to have the baby.

There’s this thing in running (and other sports), called the “zone”. It’s where, after running for 20 minutes or so, we go into a trans-like state. People do it other contexts too, like while working on a project, or writing, or creative tasks. The physical “zone” is a bit different, because the pain, well, it goes away. It doesn’t really go away. But in our minds it does. If we get pulled out of the zone, the pain hits us like a brick.

Another thing about the zone, is that when we are in it, our bodies perform better with less wear and tear. The more often we can get in the zone, the faster we can improve.

Marathon runners train hard to learn how to stay in the zone for as they can during their long runs. During the marathon itself, the other runners are no longer there,the sounds aren’t there, it’s just the rhythm of our feet on the ground, our hearts beating, and being in sync with the universe.

When I had my girls, I had had the experience of training for a marathon behind me. I knew how to get in the zone. When the pain came, it was almost automatic to go into that. I was lightly aware of the people around me. But beyond that, it was just me, my body, my breathing, my baby and my pain. The pain wrapped around me, and I went into the zone. I didn’t “feel” the pain the same way. I felt it, but I didn’t. I was performing at a higher level, and my body was pushing itself beyond it’s normal level of function, with less wear and tear.

I hadn’t realized I had gone into the zone until I was out of it, and the baby was on my chest. That’s how it is, often, with runners. We don’t know we’re there until we’re not. And, as soon as we realize we’re there, it throws us out of it, and we have to worm our way back slowly in the zone again.

My doula told me that she could tell when I was in transition. I suddenly got very quiet, very still, and my breathing changed naturally. I was no longer “there” in the room with them.

I guess my births were orgasmic. It certainly felt similar in some respects. I think that before orgasm, we get into that “zone”. Most of us anyway. That’s how it was orgasmic for me. It was like being in that zone before release.

Not all pain is bad. In Buddhism, there’s a saying, “let it kill you.” I try to remember this when I’m in pain. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but there’s something about being one with pain that makes it less scary.

And to be frank, the orgasmic birthers make me angry. I’m not evolved on the subject at all, because it’s always made me feel and especially now after my daughter, that since I didn’t have an orgasmic birth, there’s something wrong with me from their viewpoint.

I know that this isn’t so, but that’s the emotional response.

I’d rather have known and gotten told that I was in for one hell of a marathon. I would have been in a totally better headstate for labor then. But being told to just get rid of my fear and all will be hearts and flowers?

Yeah.

Still want to get angry.

And that’s my two cents.