ElementalMom

Rowan Turns 5

July 17, 2007. Rowan is five years old. Pictures of the birthday festivities, which stretched from July 4 (when Nana and Grandpa Al came down) to July 17, (when Bamma and Bampa visited), finally ending (we think) on July 19, when yet another of Auntie Ellen’s fantastic cards arrived in the mail, can be seen here.

I can’t come up with anything to say that doesn’t sound trite, or overdone, or already done. It’s been an honor, a privilege, a roller coaster. I have had the inside of my head thoroughly reupholstered. I am nothing like the person I was six years ago. All because of him.

I have never had another human being impact the entire course of my life the way Rowan has. I think about the girl I was before I got pregnant with him, and I laugh outright, when I’m not busy cringing. My view was so much more narrow, and my opinions so much more lightly held. I tolerated more guff in my world, and I allowed more prevarication. In the interest of just getting along, I let more chaff pass through my life.

And then Rowan happened. As I say in the real version of his birth story, he “ripped my world view apart and reassembled with staples and vicodin.” Sounds harsh and painful and transformative, which it was, but by now, I can be incredibly grateful that I was given the gift of sight, of really seeing this whole world around me accurately. Too many people sleep through; Rowan woke me up.

So happy birthday, Rowan. And many many more. I can already see glimmers of the person I think you’ll become, and I can’t wait to see what amazing steps you’ll take on that path between now and then. I love you, little man.