Taking Charge…
On a list I’m on, a woman just asked a question about using IUDs. It got me thinking, which got me writing. I thought I’d go ahead and post this.
Right after my cesarean, the very thought of getting pregnant again was so completely horrifying, I got an IUD immediately (I’d had one before I’d gotten pregnant, I was familiar with them, blah blah blah.).
And it felt… wrong. Not medically; everything was fine. But on some deep psychic level, it felt weird and wrong and uncomfortable. Someone demanded that I get a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
I sat in my bathtub and read it. And cried. And screamed. And shook my fist at the sky, that there I was, a very-educated 33-year-old woman with a newborn son, and in all my life, I’d never known that stuff. It was frankly horrifying, how much goes on with your body that a few incredibly simple observations, done regularly, will let you understand, that no medical professional ever bothers to educate you about.
It was in reading that book that I realized that what felt “wrong” about the IUD, for me, was that it was a form of the allopathic medical community waging war against my body every single stinkin’ day. It was “liberating” me from having to really listen to my body, pay attention to its rhythms, and thereby gain wisdom.
I realized that for the first time in my life, I had the knowledge of my own body to know when the sexual act was likely to result in creating a new human life, and I had the ability to share that information with my partner. And we were free to choose.
I discovered that I didn’t much like the idea that the medical community thought it was OK to stick some hunk of metal and plastic into my womb, placing it in a state of constant irritation, all so that I would be uniformly sexually available to my partner whenever he desired. Oh, and of course, freeing me from the responsibility of having a baby when I didn’t want one. Cause that’s all my responsibility, right?
I used to think birth control was a critical issue in women’s rights. I believe that even more now, but I think we were told a half-truth, and we swallowed it whole.
I love NFP/FAM. Love love love. I love knowing, for instance, that the week before I ovulate I’m generally miserable, so I leave that week clear of meetings or heavy obligations. I love knowing that morning when I’m going to get my period, and being prepared 100% of the time. I love knowing what all those weird twinges actually mean, rather than taking all this information my body is giving me, and ignoring it.
I believe that medical control is false control, an illusion of control based on good marketing spin and brainwashing, just as surely in birth control as in birth itself. I don’t choose to be saved from knowing myself any longer, any more than I choose to be “saved” from my pain in labor, and so every morning, I take my temperature, I check my cervix and fluids, and I make my little marks in my chart. I know myself. And I don’t need any medical infrastructure to tell me anything about me. I don’t need to spend money on their drugs and their contraptions, I don’t need to be dependent on a medical infrastructure to prevent, or to create, a baby.
It’s a kind of freedom I was never even aware of before, at the other end of a little purple beeping thermometer. Who knew?
I remember having a similar reaction to reading TCOYF- how the HELL did this infomation not get passed to me until I was preparing to deliberately concieve? I was so angry. I should have saved years of stupid pills and having my hormones played. I should have had the Basic Knowledge of how my body actually works. When my daughters are old enough to understand, I can’t wait to share it with them!
YES! Awesome book–so glad I found it. I buy it for every female friend I have who expresses doubt about what’s going on with her body. Can’t conceive? Get the book. Irregular cycles? Get the book. Sick of pills? Get the book!
This should be required reading for ALL middle school and high school girls. Perhaps a watered down version should be written for those age groups!
I, too, didn’t feel right about pills at some point even prior to conceiving our daughter. I’m so glad that something finally clicked and I’ll never go back.
I know, I know, I know! I loved discovering that book — almost ten years ago or so. I used it for birth control for years before trying to conceive. I love knowing that I almost ALWAYS ovulate on day 13, but that I conceived my first son on day 18 of my cycle and my second son on day 11…
I thought I had heard something about her writing a book for teens, but I didn’t find anything online about it. Too bad. I wish I had read this book so much earlier in my life — and I, too, share it with many of my women friends.
P.S. Laureen — I wanted to let you know that I found your blog through the continuum concept list (and also the big EC list). Hi!