Sep 02 2008
Haunted By Curves
We have, in our salon, what Rowan refers to as "the three couch". The thing looks like a big "3". Go ahead… picture how many curves that is in terms of cushions. And of course, we have two small boys; a species not known for their ability to keep fabrics and sitting surfaces clean. Which isn’t that much of a loss in this case; the original fabric is totally classic late 80’s pink and green curvy swathes, and nauseating. So the grime the boys have deposited is gross, but doesn’t make me as sad as it would were it on nice fabric. We are in desperate, dire need of new cushion covers. And I am just intimidated beyond belief by the skill involved in sewing all those curves.
How intimidated? I say "the curves" and am instantly assaulted (in my own head) by Edgar Allen Poe’s "The Bells". Go ahead; recite it, replacing "bells" with "curves" and you’ll get a sense for how bad it is.
Basically I’m stressing about the fabrics — their durability, look, and ability to resist the onslaught of small children. I hate the idea that I’m going to end up with the stereotypical boat sunbrella blue velour, because it’s comfy and stains don’t show. I’m stressing the sewing machine; I am positive mine won’t cut it, but I don’t really want to cough up the bucks for an industrial one. And I’m stressing the damn geometry of it all. I have nightmares that throw me back to 10th grade geometry class; the first B I ever received in my life. And now I’m supposed to apply that to sewing? It’s a brew designed to push all of my biggest failings, all at once.
My pal Toast was having a tirade about the curves just the other day:
They look like they were drawn by a 15 year old girl with a crush on multihulls. The bubbles everywhere in the hull shape, salon, and cabins drive me batty. The French…Oh I don’t hate the French… I just hate the curves. I’m so sick of living and upgrading equipment and cushions in the land of the non-right angle, I’ve become a bitter old woman before my time. Have you ever tried sewing a cushion that curves in, curves out, curves in, curves out? I’d give just about anything to have a square salon, right now. And don’t get me started on what it was like trying to get the shelves to fit. As I trim cushions, I wonder if they think about these issues when they build ‘em?
I am totally certain they didn’t think about those issues, not one little bit.
Or maybe it’s just a hurdle designed to make circumnavigating look easy. Because if I can handle the curves in the couch, hey, the curve of a planet is relatively simple, yeah?
More straight lines than curves here, Laureen!
The comment about circumnavigation made me wonder what happens if you project the curves onto the surface of a sphere towards the bow. Maybe then they’d be straightforward! Ha…uh, nevermind.
Sewing new cushions, even curved ones, shouldn’t be much trouble because you can take the old ones apart at the seams and use them as pattern pieces for the new ones. I’ve done this with a couch and, while the whole thing wasn’t curved like a 3, it did have lots of bends and turns in some of the cushions.
Sewing machines: scour garage sales, thrift/antique shops, and Craigslist for those old, all-metal, pre-war models. They are indestructible, can often sew through several layers of leather and, big bonus, can often be found for cheap. Mine is a White Rotary model from the 1930s or 40s. I love mine! My sister gone an older White model in a beautiful sewing desk for $40 at a thrift shop.
More about the White brand:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/3081/white.html
What mine looks like:
http://sewmuchmore.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/1939-electric-white-rotary-machine/
So basically, don’t get intimidated by the curves. You can do it!